A toxic mother does not care about your feelings. She is mean and selfish. She can hurt you a lot. In this article, you will learn How to Know and Deal with a Toxic Mother and what to do about it.
What Is a Toxic Relationship?
A toxic relationship is bad for you. It makes you feel sad, scared, or angry. Sometimes, people are toxic because they want to help you. But they do not know how to do it right. They do not listen to you or respect you. They only say bad things to you.
Some people have toxic relationships with their parents. As a result, this can be very bad for them. Parents should help their children grow up well. In addition, they should teach them how to see the world. But toxic parents do not do that. Instead, they make their children feel bad about themselves and the world.
How to Tell If You Have a Toxic Mother
Some parents are toxic to their children because they are sad themselves. They need help too. If you think you have a toxic mother, ask yourself if she does these things:
- Blaming: Toxic mothers say that everything is your fault. For example, if the house is dirty, they say it is because of you. Even if you did not make the mess.
- Lack of Empathy or Understanding: Toxic mothers do not care about your problems. Furthermore, they do not try to help you. They only get mad at you. For example, if you do bad in school or sports, they yell at you. They do not ask why or how they can help.
- Guilt-Tripping: Toxic mothers make you feel bad for not doing what they want. Moreover, they say things like “I did so much for you” or “You are so unthankful”. They want you to do things for them.
- Shaming: Toxic mothers make you feel bad about yourself. Also, they say things like “You are a failure” or “You should be ashamed of yourself”. They want you to feel small and weak.
- Gaslighting: Toxic mothers make you doubt yourself and your reality. Additionally, they say things like “You are lying” or “You are too sensitive”. They want you to question your own memory and feelings.
- Marginalizing: Toxic mothers make you feel alone and unwanted. Besides, they say things like “You do not need friends” or “No one likes you”. They want you to stay away from other people.
- Scapegoating: Toxic mothers make you feel responsible for their problems and mistakes. Similarly, they say things like “You are the reason I am unhappy” or “You are the cause of all our problems”. They want you to feel guilty and sorry.
What to Do If You Have a Toxic Mother
Having a toxic mother can be very hard and painful. But there are ways to deal with it and heal from it. Here are some tips on what to do if you have a toxic mother:
- Set Boundaries: Boundaries are rules that protect you from your mother’s meanness. You can decide what kind of contact you want with her, how often you want to see her, what topics you want to avoid, and what behaviors you will not accept. You can tell her your boundaries clearly and strongly, and keep them no matter what.
- Seek Support: Support is help from other people who care about you and understand you. You can talk to friends, family members, therapists, support groups, or online communities who can give you empathy, advice, and comfort. You do not have to deal with your mother’s meanness alone.
- Practice Self-Care: Self-care is doing things that make you happy and healthy. You can do things that relax you, energize you, and feed you. You can also say good things to yourself, be thankful for what you have, pay attention to the present moment, and other things that can help you deal with stress and bad feelings.
- Heal Your Wounds: Wounds are the hurts that your mother gave you. You can work on healing them by changing the bad thoughts that your mother put in your head, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve love”. You can also work on forgiving yourself and your mother for what happened, not because she is right, but because you want peace.
- Live Your Life: Living your life is doing what makes you happy and proud. You can follow your goals, passions, hobbies, interests, and dreams without letting your mother’s meanness stop you. You can also make good relationships with people who respect you, support you, and love you for who you are.
Conclusion
A toxic mother does not care about your feelings. She is mean and selfish. She can hurt you a lot. But there are ways to deal with it and heal from it. By setting boundaries, seeking support, practicing self-care, healing your wounds, and living your life, you can beat your mother’s meanness and be happy.
